One of the things you encounter as a woman going through a divorce is everyone asking you if you are keeping his last name or going back to your maiden name. For me, there was no question, I wanted the same last name that my kids have. I was not the bad guy in the divorce, so why should I have to go through all the trouble of a name change, and yes, it is trouble. You do not realize how many places that you have to notify of a name change. It is ridiculous. I cannot imagine women who get married multiple times and keep changing their name.
I know my ex wanted me to change back to my maiden name, but I refused. And I have to admit that "Saunderson" is not a bad name. Besides, my ex was adopted into that name (by his step-dad) and never took in on until he was 13. Besides, I had the name for more than 10 years before the divorce was final, so I kept it.
Well, as it turns out, my ex remarried a woman also named "Michelle". I could tell that they wanted me to get married again (my boyfriend and I were together over 5 years by then) so that I would change my name and hinted at it several times. I will probably never get married again, so that was not in my game plan at all. So, the new wife decided to keep her maiden name. I find it hilarious. I give her a lot of credit though because I know that I would never date a guy whose previous wife had the same name as me.
Now, whenever we go to open house at school, or functions for the kids, everyone is confused. I have watched teachers try to figure out the relationships. The kids have started introducing my boyfriend as their step-dad to make things easier. Meanwhile, I am chuckling under my breath the whole time.
My ex has also expressed to me that his wife gets irritated when mail for "Michelle Saunderson" goes to their house. They assume the mail is for me, which it may be, but it may also be for his wife because people assume that the woman takes the man's last name. Silly people.
Of course, the real clincher will be when I fulfill my dream of writing a book and getting it published. It will kill my ex if I ever become famous with his last name. With his ego, he may just implode. I would love to be a fly on the wall the first time someone asks his wife, "Are you the author Michelle Saunderson?" (Sorry, I guess my vindictive side is coming out)
So, what do you think? Am I evil? Did you keep the last name?
Love it! You are not evil at all, I'm sure if he was in your shoes then he would have done the exact same thing and kept the last name.
ReplyDeleteI bet it does drive his new wife crazy! LOL!
This is an interesting take on the whole name change. I dated a girl who was recently divorced, and when she informed me she was keeping his name it struck me as odd. At the time, it reinforced what I'd been thinking already about how she wasn't over her husband and would bolt if he ever showed up again. (she basically told me as much, too ... so while my dating decoder ring might not be the most accurate all the time, I'm pretty sure I got this one right)
ReplyDeleteBut anyway ... being unhappy with your ex is one thing, taking it out on his current wife who has done nothing to you, all over some paperwork (no matter how much) doesn't seem fair to this other woman.
Pffft! I already know you're evil! lol
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you on the name change, it is a royal pain in the butt and really shouldn't be that difficult. With that said, I think it's best you keep the same last name your children have. Keep it simple...wish I did! lol
If his new wife's name wasn't Michelle, this wouldn't even be that big of an issue so I don't think it has anything to do with trying to be vindictive. Then again, knowing you...hmmmmmmm....
Abe, You still don't get it. Having my ex's last name has nothing to do with him, but everything to do with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI'd have kept the name for the sole purpose of tormenting the new Mrs. and ex. Do what's best for you. But when you get that book deal, stick another name in the middle or end. No need to share the glory!
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